It’s heavy. Just the weight of the everything in life is heavy. It’s always been heavy. I feel like it has always been a struggle for me. The weight of life. I am sure many would look and believe my life is somewhat gem like. That I have a splendid environment of good. The stories and the camouflage that we all carry daily implies success, happiness, and in
some instances joy. The truth is its difficult aspiring for something better and constantly being trained to conform to acceptance of what you receive, appreciative even. Sitting by and supporting others as they achieve successes based on your ongoing efforts and hard work while never receiving your own success story. The truth is…. I need a WIN.
My life hasn’t been this tragic story of low life living, encapsulation or lack. In fact, many would say that there has been a lot of good that has happened in my life. There isn’t a huge store house of money. I haven’t travelled as much as I would have liked. In review, it may be considered a bit extravagant in many ways. Extravagant in the sense, my children were always well clothed, well-fed, with a space of their own and a place they could call home.
I have spent a lot of time making way for others to be comfortable in my life by loving for too long for the wrong reasons. That allowed me to lose sight of me as an individual as I was taught or raised to keep the faith and the right situation will come to you. Well, I am tired of the weight of acceptance and a faith that isn’t based on the real entitlements of a faith driven being. I think our prior generations got it all wrong. The real day of reckoning exist within us when we decide to declare the WIN and accept the truth in knowing that you are entitled to the real win. Not the WIN that is temporary. Not the WIN that gives you a glimpse of what you are striving to achieve. The WIN that says, its for YOU. Our system of societal make ups say you need to work for it, save for it, plan for it. For those not born into wealth and who continue to abide by the laws that governor our personal progression know that the societal law isn’t organically real. Spending your days working and storing the small amounts of money every week, don’t get you the WIN. Cutting cost and eating noodles at home three times per week don’t get you the WIN. More than likely you ended up with a diseased environment unable to commit a WIN. I want the WIN. The WIN that my life, my heart, my spirit, my family is entitled to and not what others are willing for us to have. I want the WIN in life and love that is complete, unprecedented, and real.
Is it about the stuff…NO. The stuff is just the stuff that makes the WIN feel good. Is it about the space…? NO. The space is just the place that keeps you calm, your personal sanctuary of the WIN. Is it about the account…? NO. The account is simply the statement that says you are worthy of the WIN. Is it about the travel…NO. The travel is just an example of the ability to explore what your faith has created. The ability to give, to do, to appreciate, to evolve, to honor, to revel, to celebrate the real WIN.
It’s just time to take the WIN that has been held slightly out of my reach. It’s the unforgiving belief and attitude that says, “I am worthy of a WIN”. It is truly okay to recognize and accept the knowing that you are worthy of the WIN. I want the REAL WIN.